January 6th - Take my wife!

As my wife readies herself for a night out, I take up my regular place on the sofa.

6 years ago we were married in a fantastic week long celebration on the opposite side of the Atlantic. Since then we have lived in three counties, held down numerous jobs between us and even moved twice in the space of one year, we have down sized our personal effects from a two bedroom house to still too much for a one bedroom flat. We have moved away from family and friends and left the old stability behind us.

I know this would have challenged the greatest of relationships but ours is truly great.

We enjoy travelling to see family, we enjoy discovering new places, we enjoy the theatre, we enjoy good food and good wine, we enjoy a cheesy classic film,we enjoy nostalgia, we enjoy a good quiz, we enjoy a lazy afternoon curled up in front of the telly when the weather is inclement, we enjoy making the best of situations and we enjoy looking on the bright side of life (something that’s born more out of necessity than empathy)

But within those parameters we are so different, I enjoy driving, she prefers the passenger seat, I am happy to just turn up in a new place, she likes to plan to the nth degree, I enjoy comedies and straight plays, she prefers a musical or dancing show, I would always head for a starter where as she is a sweet trolley girl, I like a bold red wine, she prefers a sweet blush, I would steer away from a Tom Cruise or Patrick Swayze flick, she can recite them verbatim, I adore the music of the nineties, she refuses to accept that it ever happened, my specialist subjects would be music comedy & football, hers is everything. (I think we enjoy the sofa time equally.)
These differences make us who we are

For some reason this amazing lady sticks with me. We have been married for 6 years together for 12, nobody knows me as well, nor treats and understands me better.

I do not profess to be a relationship expert, I am constantly messing up, but I am learning.

I'm learning that I am strong, I am content and that , if it came to it, I would be fine on my own, I would be able to cope, I'd cope with food, and cope with life and cope with work.

But I don't want to cope, I want to explore, embrace, live, adore, love and be loved.

As always for someone to grow, mature and evolve they need to have a guide. Someone to share their good and bad times, someone to highlight the good parts and help improve the negatives.

I have the perfect guide, take my very best friend for example, take my wife.

January 5th - Onwards and upwards

Today is the first day after finishing phase 1 of my first project, The Year of the Gav (TYOTG)

I feel strangely numb and empty I'm twiddling my thumbs looking for something to do

I know I still have a long way to go with TYOTG but at the moment it feels as if I've achieved nothing.

Whilst I was writing TYOTG I would look forward to working the late shift, it would allow me the morning to; get up, prepare for the day (breakfast etc) and set my target to leave the flat by midday, to get 2 hours of writing done before the bus to work arrived.

I found a great coffee shop over looking the high-street but more importantly, the bus stop. Even better than that, the coffee came with a free refill, £1.65 for 2 mugs, definitely the best value in Woking.

Once out of the flat my day would be as follows; Get to the coffee shop at 12-ish, get first mug of coffee, get an hour-ish of writing done, second cup then the second writing hour-ish. Bus would arrive at 2-ish. My day was like clockwork.

Today my clockwork stopped.

I woke up, as I used to, did breakfast, as I used to, caught up with news, sport & How I met your mother, as I used to, left the flat by 11.50am, as I used to, ordered up my refill coffee and paid my £1.65 as always, in fact I don't even have to ask now, they know my routine, they had my mug waiting for me today when I arrived, as they used to.

I've arrived with my laptop ready,willing and waiting to write, at my usual table with my usual drink in my usual mug, then........ nothing

I have nothing to write, I suddenly don't know who I am or what I'm doing

My fingers flirt with the keys and hover over them eager to fill another day with something.

I have gotten so used to writing, so used to this structure and so used to this daily deadline that I'm missing it, all of the regular parts are here but without the inspiration.

I must keep writing, I have to keep writing, I want to keep writing, something has started and now I don't feel happy unless I'm telling someone else about it.

I think, this is a good feeling, I think, this is a good habit, I think, I have wound my clock up again and I think, I'm moving onwards and upwards